Mr. Right Now

Don't confuse compromising with settling.  There IS a HUGE difference and we must be able to identify them. We all want our "Mr. Right" but did any of us ever stop to think that "Mr. Right Now" maybe all that we can currently handle or are prepared for.  Mr. Right Now could be all that we ever imagined our "Mr. Right" would be, except he has that 1 thing that we won't compromise on.  We want that perfect guy, but are we the perfect lady?  Being honest with yourself is often the most difficult thing to do. It is alright to be alone, some of us need this to find out who we really are and what we really want.  Mr. Right Now does not have to be a bad thing.  He can teach you things about yourself and keep you entertained while you're still looking for Mr. Right.  The problem presents itself when we attempt to change Mr. Right Now into Mr. Right.  Everyone that comes in and out of our lives serves a purpose, whether we choose to believe this or not.  You can choose to ignore that purpose or embrace it. Embrace the lessons, and reasons that person has been placed into your life and let go when you are suppose to.  Someone who is perfect for you now, may not be perfect forever!  

My twitter homie @Chyuuch said it best when he said: "We ain't gotta be 2gether 4ever-but let's just fully enjoy the time we have w/o wasting a second holding back.

A different point of view

Everyone has different points of view.  It is important to learn to embrace these opinions but understand your own. Know what you want and stick to it. Listening to 3 women opinions on the same subject was very interesting and all held true to their beliefs. 1 message was about the foundation of a relationship.  A guy with a good foundation will seemingly be ideal for a long-term relation.  The question that was left was simply if the woman was willing to compromise and invest the time to turn the foundation into a masterpiece. Another message was in reference to the "package deal".  Being a single mother, I can relate strongly to this.  Any guy that I consider a potential husband, will have to be strong enough to handle a "ready-made" family.  Ultimately when you accept me you accept my son, AND his father.  Not in the sense of sharing me, but in the sense of being confident and strong enough to handle those situations where we will all be around (birthday's, graduations, sports events, etc.) and also assuming some responsibility for my child as if he's your own.  The third message was rather simple but something I could still learn from and respect.  In any relationship you MUST know what you want.  Understand those things that can not be compromised on and "stick to your guns".  Make sure he understands what's the most important to you and do not settle. 

Expectations or requirements?!

Someone asked me "what are three traits you require in a mate?" My answer was consistency, good communication, & humility. Not too long ago the answer would've have been superficial traits or visual characteristics. I now realize that these are the traits I'm looking for in all relationships. Everyone isn't husband/friend material. The best thing I can do is to be as consistent & humble as possible and communicate as best as possible. It's easy to make a list.....it's hard to be the example of that list.

My first love

Oooohhhhhhh how I remember you! You were the first one that gave me butterflies, made my heart flutter, and my mind race. You taught me the true meaning of passion. Before you, I couldn't fathom the REAL meaning. Nothing on this earth could keep me from loving you! You continue to bring a smile to my face! I admire you, because there aren't many that can make me "cheese" this hard from a mere thought.You're the one I daydream about. I often wish you were still a huge part of my life and not just a fading memory. I miss you sooo much! I thank God for you, you taught me sooo much. You taught me that it was ok to just be me! You taught me about confidence and that being "different" was considered "expressive" in your eyes! You made me feel like I could take over the world. You were dependable, I knew I could count on you to be there when I needed you most. You took me places I never thought I'd get to go. You showed me that my creativity was almost effortless. You showed me that no amount of training could surpass my God-giving talents. I feel like the sky was the limit for us and I let you down....and for that I'm sorry. I still get teary-eyed sometimes when I think back on how great we were together. I can imagine where we would be today, now that we're older and more mature, if only I would've hung on! Thank you for being you and bringing out the best in me! I'm forever grateful to you & humbled by you!

DANCE....as long as I live, you'll be my first love!

Just me & u!

Having moments of weakness does not mean that your without faith, it simply means your human. So often I become consumed in being strong, I start to believe the facade sometimes. Tears cleanse the soul and don't allude to weakness as much as it reminds us of the ability to connect with our emotions.

I can't lie, lately I've questioned myself...."are you doing something wrong?" I'm attempting to stay patient and faithful although it's hard being alone. Gotta remember there's a difference between alone & lonely! I know I wrote "don't allow your loneliness to consume you," but that's definitely easier said than done. It's f-'d up when you're forced into being solo, because the one you thought was for-ever wasn't even good enough for-now! One thing I won't do is settle....no need to!

All my dreams and aspirations for me and my fam (which includes a husband) are on the horizon. I'm so thankful that I came out of my past better and not bitter. Lord knows that couldve went the other way! My faitfulness is consistent and I will not withhold it because of my past. I understand that I was made this way for a reason & refuse to let ANYONE change me. I'm a great catch, so catch me if you can!:-)

Would've came back for you.....

Would've came back for you, I just needed time.....~Drake

One thing we all want more of is time. Over the years, I have grown to learn that EVERY moment is made to prepare you for what's next. You have to take advantage of this time, because you can never get it back! With faith, we believe that God doesn't make mistakes. In saying that, we are inadvertently saying that all things work together for the best (good or bad). With faith, comes the acknowledgement that you trust God. The trials & challenges of today are necessary for you to move into your purpose tomorrow. Your faithfulness amidst these challenges are what counts. We all acknowledge our faith in God, yet we will (in the same breath), discount our faith because we are attempting to understand things we can not.

Faith is - a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny. With faith, we have to give God the glory over all situations. For time spent (it can not be a waste), & for those that have wronged us(we must forgive). We must measure our lives not by the time spent but by our actions, growth and success!

Focus

As I continue on this journey I learn more and more about myself daily. Validation comes in many forms. Self,personal, professional, and spiritual to name a view. In dealing with the constant NEED for validation, it is easy to lose focus. My need to be "different" has been fueled for years by my insecurities. I can say now that my strength has come from moments like this. Moments where all i can do is turn to Him. There's strength in allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Some are more spiritual than others, however once you learn to communicate with God it becomes easy to hear HIM. We can choose to attempt to silence what we're hearing but it will become apparent in all that we do.
I've been struggling to find my purpose & praying for clarity often. As I begin to receive clarity, I became easily distracted with other, insignificant things or people. One by one God continues to remove the things out of my way (even when I didn't want to, or didn't view them as obstacles). He wants my attention & focus to be on my purpose.

One thing that I have to remember is that although we make choices, they simply determine how easy or hard it's going to be. Ultimately, my destiny has already been decided. So I bid good bye to the people & things that don't deserve my attention. I'm focused on my purpose & if that means I'm alone for a while then I'm truly ok with that!