Either or!

We want it all & we want it now! Gotta have patience! Yes, patience! My "perfect" guy: I want someone smart-a college grad, yet street smart. Fashionable, pants fitted but not too-tight. Treat me like a queen but not allow me to have my way ALL of the time. I wanna feel secure but not smothered. Cool with trying new things, but not over the top with it. Like classical music, but can jam with me to "No hands"- lol. Works hard, knows that i got it but offers anyways. Pays attention to my body language & knows when i need a hug or laugh. Someone who can appreciate my natural beauty in addition to my curves. He needs to be young enough to keep up with me yet mature enough to handle me; not either or.
Once you remove the gay guys, married guys, and guys who play games out of the picture what are you left with?! Exactly, mr.nice guy.....unfortunately most women (self-included) have no idea how to handle or even begin to relate to the token nice guy! *sigh We always want it all, but do I have to settle for either....or? Am I being selfish/greedy for wanting it all....NOW!? we've all met guys we liked & said "he's cool,but...." is it self-sabotage or our own insecurities that forces us to focus on the 1 thing we dislike instead of the 20 things we love? Let me get it together, let go & let flow & stop looking for either or.(taking my own advice)

Mr. Right Now

Don't confuse compromising with settling.  There IS a HUGE difference and we must be able to identify them. We all want our "Mr. Right" but did any of us ever stop to think that "Mr. Right Now" maybe all that we can currently handle or are prepared for.  Mr. Right Now could be all that we ever imagined our "Mr. Right" would be, except he has that 1 thing that we won't compromise on.  We want that perfect guy, but are we the perfect lady?  Being honest with yourself is often the most difficult thing to do. It is alright to be alone, some of us need this to find out who we really are and what we really want.  Mr. Right Now does not have to be a bad thing.  He can teach you things about yourself and keep you entertained while you're still looking for Mr. Right.  The problem presents itself when we attempt to change Mr. Right Now into Mr. Right.  Everyone that comes in and out of our lives serves a purpose, whether we choose to believe this or not.  You can choose to ignore that purpose or embrace it. Embrace the lessons, and reasons that person has been placed into your life and let go when you are suppose to.  Someone who is perfect for you now, may not be perfect forever!  

My twitter homie @Chyuuch said it best when he said: "We ain't gotta be 2gether 4ever-but let's just fully enjoy the time we have w/o wasting a second holding back.

A different point of view

Everyone has different points of view.  It is important to learn to embrace these opinions but understand your own. Know what you want and stick to it. Listening to 3 women opinions on the same subject was very interesting and all held true to their beliefs. 1 message was about the foundation of a relationship.  A guy with a good foundation will seemingly be ideal for a long-term relation.  The question that was left was simply if the woman was willing to compromise and invest the time to turn the foundation into a masterpiece. Another message was in reference to the "package deal".  Being a single mother, I can relate strongly to this.  Any guy that I consider a potential husband, will have to be strong enough to handle a "ready-made" family.  Ultimately when you accept me you accept my son, AND his father.  Not in the sense of sharing me, but in the sense of being confident and strong enough to handle those situations where we will all be around (birthday's, graduations, sports events, etc.) and also assuming some responsibility for my child as if he's your own.  The third message was rather simple but something I could still learn from and respect.  In any relationship you MUST know what you want.  Understand those things that can not be compromised on and "stick to your guns".  Make sure he understands what's the most important to you and do not settle. 

Expectations or requirements?!

Someone asked me "what are three traits you require in a mate?" My answer was consistency, good communication, & humility. Not too long ago the answer would've have been superficial traits or visual characteristics. I now realize that these are the traits I'm looking for in all relationships. Everyone isn't husband/friend material. The best thing I can do is to be as consistent & humble as possible and communicate as best as possible. It's easy to make a list.....it's hard to be the example of that list.