The pants....

Always spoke about it but never fully understood it. In order to get what I want in a relationship- I have to be what I want. Understanding, compromising, confident not cocky, & 1 of the most hardest things to do for THIS woman- be submissive.  By definition being submissive is:  "inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others or showing such inclination.". This word is notorious for  causing fear, rebellion, & anger in women. We can't confuse submission & controlling.  Allowing a man to be a man is more than the amount of money you make. That part I've never had a problem with. Now, allowing him to make the decisions, express his opinion of what WE should or should not do, be responsible for me (& I not worry) - I've struggled with them all. I've been strong & independent forever. Not because of preference but out of necessity. I know the man is suppose to wear "the pants" but when you've grown accustomed to doing it all & having EVERYONE consistently depend on you to get it done- you take off the skirt & pumps & throw on "the pants" because there's work to be done!  But how can you need a man if you are the man?~hmmm....I get it...NOW!  You have to allow him to be the gentleman you expect him to me. If he says he got it, let him have it. Talk only half as much as you listen (I'm working on that ;-) ) Be considerate, although he may make you feel that it's all about you- you have to stay grounded & make him feel like its all about him. Build him up, be honest but not critical. Inspire & be willing to communicate- clearly.  You can't learn something new if no one is willing to teach you. I must remind all women & men- it's a process. He or she may not be all that you WANT, but look again- they may be exactly what you NEED.